Second nastygram! I love you! I love you! You love me! You love me! I'm drowning in love!
February 21, 2002
BY ELECTRONIC MAIL
Re: Unauthorized Use of Intellectual Property
Dear Sir or Madam:
They still haven't figured out my sex. Either I'm epistemologically vague or they're morons, I'm not sure which.
As you are aware, this firm is counsel to Lyons Partnership, L.P.
(?Lyons Partnership?), the owners of the exclusive right to use the
copyrighted children?s dinosaur character Barney®.
Oh, now they're telling me about my awareness. Pretty amazing that they seem to know all about my state of conciousness.
We previously notified you of our client?s objection to your website
http://www.asan.com/users/gecko/enemy.html on the basis that it
incorporates copyrighted images without permission from Lyons
Yes, they did previously notify me, and a rollicking good read it
was, too. OK, I'm being sarcastic. I'm trying to follow the Barney Rule of LOVE EVERYBODY, but
it's not easy. At least I'm trying, though. They're not even trying to
follow the Barney Rule, which means that they're implicitly admitting
that Barney's a fraud. I digress
Lyons Partnership maintains its objection to your use of our
copyrighted images as set forth in our February 11, 2002 letter.
THIS IS YOUR SECOND NOTICE.
Who said Barney can't compete with Sesame Street? Barney teaches
We must hear from you by March 4, 2002. Your
response must provide written assurances by that [sic ] you have ceased and
desisted from reproducing, distributing, performing by means of
digital audio transmission, or displaying the copyrighted character
Barney doesn't teach syntax, it seems. I must assure them that I've
"ceased ... performing by means of digital audio transmission ... the
copyrighted character." What does that mean? How can I cease doing
something that's literally meaningless?
And why do I keep getting the feeling that they're just sticking in
boilerplate that has nothing to do with my site? Maybe because
they're, well, just sticking in boilerplate that has nothing to do
with my site? A lot of lawyering, in fact, consists of glorified file
clerking; standard forms are pulled out of binders and filled in for
the client. I always wonder if the client is being billed as if the lawyers
had actually done some work.